


Chasing Blue Light

by Fudgyjammy14



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Coming Out, M/M, Mild Smut, Self-Denial
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-28
Updated: 2019-08-04
Packaged: 2020-07-23 18:08:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20012590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fudgyjammy14/pseuds/Fudgyjammy14
Summary: Junhoe hid within himself for years, played the role he thought he was supposed to play. And there’s Jiwon the confident one. Junhoe knew it was up to him now, he knew Jiwon was going to let him go if that was what he wanted. Didn't he?





	1. Koo Junhoe

“Koo Junhoe”

A loud call from his professor woke Junhoe up from his nap, “you’re sleeping again, Junhoe. I told you if you can’t pass this class, you’ll not able to graduate this year” his professor said

“Sorry sir”

Whispers from the other student was loud enough for Junhoe to hear it, and honestly, it’s hurting him

As much as he wanted to drop out from college, he doesn’t have a choice but to finish it.

His womanizer father will beat him to death if he’ll not able to graduate this year,

His drunkard mother will surely cry because of him every night

Junhoe was only 18 years old since this misery happen, their family business was at the top of its game but his father got addicted to women, which causes his mother to drink every night to “forget” their problems.

At 19 years old he was forced to work at a warehouse, where he was a dock worker.

He requested a night shift at his supervisor for him to be able to attend his class at the morning.

For four years, his life was like this.

Work

School

Work

School

Junhoe sat on the left side corner of the canteen to eat his lunch “I’m only 22 years old but fuccck this life” he muttered

He left out a deep sigh

“woah, that was – deep” said the boy on his front

Junhoe stared at him “none of your business” and he’s back finishing his lunch

The boy just smirked “sulky”

When Junhoe was about to leave, the boy suddenly stands up and blocked his way

Junhoe looked at him coldly, his right eyebrow raised “what do you want?”

“I just want to know your name, you look so beautiful for my eyes” to boy replied, his eyes darted at Junhoe’s luscious lips down to his beautiful neck

“huh!” Junhoe scoffed “beautiful my ass, can you move? I’m getting late at my 1pm class”

Junhoe slightly pushed the boy’s chest to make him back off

But the boy was fast and caught his left hand “your hand was soft” he smirked

Junhoe was stunned and now the students at their canteen was looking at them

“Can you – stop” he quickly pulled out his hand from the boy and walk out from the canteen as fast as he can

When he reached his assigned classroom, he settled himself to the corner seat of the room “fuck this life” he sighed

“Hi there”

Junhoe rolled his eyes when he heard the familiar annoying voice, he turns around to check who greeted him and he’s right

“Tell me your name and I’ll leave you alone” the boy confidently said to Junhoe

Junhoe peered his eyes and he sighs “Koo Junhoe, happy? Now leave me alone”

“uhumm, Koo Junhoe is such a beautiful name it fits you, my name is Donghyuk by the way”

“Okay” Junhoe coldly replied

It’s 5:30pm and Junhoe’s class schedule is finished

He was getting ready to go home when Donghyuk approach him

“Junhoe, are you free tonight?” he asked

Junhoe replied immediately “No”

“Oh, how pity, I was about to ask you out tonight” Donghyuk said while he scratched his head

Junhoe stand firm, putting his hands a crossed each other “you said earlier, you will leave me alone once you know my name right? Now leave me alone” as he walked out leaving Donghyuk alone

But Donghyuk gripped on his arms “leaving me too soon princess?”

Junhoe turn around facing him “what is wrong with you? Let me go!”

“Donghyuk!” the other boy called him

“what?” Donghyuk replied

“let’s go! We’re getting late at the party”

Donghyuk hissed “see you around, Koo Junhoe”

He let go of Junhoe’s arm but his eyes never leave the boy until he comes out at the door

Junhoe felt his knees weakened from what happen, he crouches at the floor and tears starts to fall down to his cheeks

Junhoe is such a beautiful fine boy.

From his porcelain skin, long toned legs, full eyebrows, luscious pink lips, long eyelashes and pointed nose who wouldn’t want to touch him?

Since he was a teen it was his everyday dilemma, sexual abuse.

From adult woman to man, even his professor to his classmates, name it.

Junhoe experienced it all.

He was waiting for the bus when someone catches’ his attention

It was Hanbin, his school mate, the boy was from the section A and his long-time crush

He noticed that Hanbin was getting nearer so he fixed his hair, wiped his face and try to calm his raging heart “act normal, act normal, act normal, act normal, act normal, act normal,” he whispered to himself

“oh Junhoe, you’re here! Goin’ home?” Hanbin cheerfully asked him

As usual, Junhoe panicked “ah ehh uhmm, yeah hyung ~ I’m g-ggoing home” he stuttered

Hanbin chuckled “cute, I’m going to a party but suddenly Yunhyeong has an important thing to do, you want to join me?”

Junhoe smiled “ahh ~ I’m going to work hyung, but I’ll follow once I finished my work early”

“oh sad, okay then. I gotta go” Hanbin waved at him good bye

Junhoe followed Hanbin through his eyes, before the bus came. “He’s really that handsome” he murmured and bit his lower lips


	2. Way Home

Upon entering, Junhoe was very pleased to see that the long seat at the back of the bus was unoccupied. In fact, with five minutes to go until departure, the bus was fairly empty, with no more than twelve other passengers on board. He eagerly headed for the back of the bus to claim his prize.

He sat down on the right side of the unoccupied back seat, he was very pleased about his good fortune as he settled in. He could think of nothing better than an uninterrupted snooze on the two-hour journey that lay before him.

Junhoe was walking home from the bus stop, and as usual, he was walking through the park. Well, technically, it’s not really on his way home. Well, it kinda is. If he walk three blocks out of the way, of the most direct route home. Well. Okay, it’s eight blocks totally out of his way and takes him an extra 30mins to get home. Okay??

Anyway, it doesn’t matter. I mean who cares if Junhoe want to take the long way home or not? Besides he likes walking through the park. It’s a huge park. Lots of trees and bushes. Playing fields for soccer, football, cricket, and hockey etc. As well as a couple of playgrounds for little kids with swings, and slides, and stuff.

In fact, if you walk through the park the right way you’d think you were out in the country somewhere, as you can’t see any of the surrounding houses, and you can barely hear any traffic either. It’s just like a constant hum in the background.

Junhoe stopped at one of the restroom along the trail to take a leak. He went into the restroom and found a man he judged to be in his late twenties, standing at the urinal trough also wearing a school uniform. 

As he stepped up to the long trough next to him, Junhoe glanced over and saw that his cock was completely hard and he was very slowly stroking it. It was the first time he had seen another male completely hard much less stroking it.

Immediately, his own cock began to stiffen as he pissed and all that time the man was looking at Junhoe’s cock and smiling. After a moment, he looked up at him and said, “Nice piece of dick you got. May I feel it?”

“Uh” he didn’t know what to answer “yeah, I guess so,” he replied nervously,

The man reached over and gently grasped his cock and as he did he said, “You can feel mine if you want to.”

While trying to steady his hand, Junhoe reached over and grasped his cock and began stroking him as he did the same to Junhoe. It wasn’t long until his cock exploded and Junhoe watched as volley after volley of thick cream shot out into the trough. As it did, Junhoe’s own cock reached it’s climax and shot out numerous volleys of his own thick cum.

Smiling, he said, “I enjoyed that. If you want to do it again, I’ll be here next Saturday at the same time.”

“Uh, Maybe,” Junhoe replied as he put his cock away before walking out.

Junhoe arrived home at around 7:00 PM after a comfortable meal and equally comfortable conversation with his mother, they bid each other good night went to their separate bedrooms.


	3. After Two Years

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't be confused with this one.
> 
> Italic/slant words (idk how to call it lol) are Junhoe's past and the normal ones are his present :)

The room was dark, the only light coming from the hall, the rectangular illumination lying across the floor in its oddly distorted form. Junhoe had gone to the bathroom, been gone for only a minute at most, only to return and find his room in darkness. It took a few seconds for his eyes to adjust to the darkness, slowly the shapes of things coming into focus. The outline of the window backlit by the moon light, the outline of his furniture and the outline of Jiwon standing by his bed.

“Close the door” Jiwon uttered in a low voice, so low Junhoe barely heard him.

He hesitated, didn’t move for he wasn’t sure what he was seeing.

He saw but he didn’t, the form of Jiwon before him, the pure form of body.

The lean outline unadorned with clothing. He saw the darkness at Jiwon’s crotch then slowly revealed the faint outline of cock. He saw the two nipples, darker than the surrounding skin, slowly become perceptible.

Junhoe felt his heart beat speed up, the pulse of blood racing through his body as he stood holding his breath.

“Junhoe?”

Jiwon’s voice broke the silence in the room once again and Junhoe became aware of the situation, he standing mute, frozen in place standing in rectangle of light and in front of him, Jiwon standing naked. His mind raced in confusion, his old fears holding him in place.

Slowly, the realization that no one would know what happened within his own home.

No one would know if he went to Jiwon.

He pushed the door closed and reached for the light switch.

“No…leave the lights off” Jiwon whispered.

No urgency, no sense of fear, just the monotone voice he had used twice before.

Dropping his hand back to his side Junhoe turned back to Jiwon.

He could see him now, ghost like in the darkness, fair skin appearing to glow. The lean torso, the nipples that rode high on the chest and as he looked down, couldn’t stop himself, till he was looking at the flaccid cock lying over its sac, the flared head half covered in skin.

Jiwon’s hand came to it giving it a gentle tug.

“Junhoe” Jiwon whispered holding out his hand; “please, come here.”

_Junhoe fell back in time, back to the day he realized he was gay, a young adolescent lying in the floor watching television and finding himself attracted to one of the main male characters._

_He knew this was different, more than some fan, more than just admiration or hero worship. It was an attraction, sexual in nature, one that he felt within himself and without, an arousal that affected him in a way that scared him._

_He saw others who were openly gay, on television and in America when his family made the two days trip to go into the city for one reason or another. But that was there, somewhere else, in the big cities, not in a place like his rural community._

_For years he hid within himself, played the role he thought he was supposed to play, a good boy, straight, who played baseball, rode his bicycle, worked on his father’s business, going fishing with friends and sitting in church with his family on Sunday._

_And he let his eyes roam, would glance around at one guy or another he found attractive, had favorite television shows based more on male characters he was infatuated and he looked out of the corner of his eyes in the dressing room so he could catch glimpses of the naked male body, fully exposed to his roaming eyes._

_It scared Junhoe how he could not keep himself from looking, how he found himself daydreaming of those guys, scenarios where they would be alone together, touching each other, fingers over bare flesh. He imagined the way it would lead to sex. Sex where he would give himself to one of the guys, saw himself rolling over on his back and allowing them to move on him._

_When graduation came he thought life would become easier, some routine would arise that allowed Junhoe to find his place._

_It was worse._

_His classmates left for work abroad, took jobs in nearby industry or began to work as full time with their family business and they got married and within the next two years a few began their own families._

_And Junhoe was alone, afraid to act out on his desires and had no willingness to live otherwise, to live a lie. He pulled back from going to church, the hell fire damnation sermons too much to endure. He went into town for lunch by himself when his parents went to church. On Saturdays he would go to movies or ride to Hangdong City and roam around its malls, walk in the park and in the evening he would cruise by the gay bars and look in seeing a life he wanted, the ability to be among other guys who had the same desires, the same attractions, aroused by their own sex._

_For nearly two years he circled around in this routine, searching for some way to find contentment in his life._

_A month ago, Junhoe went into a gay bar that was over in Gangnam, a small bar in the edge of town. It had been unsettling to him for the way so many watched him come in, then the way a couple of guys moved to him, giving him compliments on his appearance, teasing him for looking so young, being so cute. He should have been flattered but he was too nervous, untrusting of these men he knew nothing about._

_He didn’t stay thirty minutes before he fled the bar and drove home._


	4. Meet up

“It’s okay…I know.”

Junhoe heard Jiwon, closer now, right in front of him. He saw the way Jiwon’s dark brown hair fell over his forehead down into his eyes. The way his collar bone was so prominent across his upper torso and how his long neck seemed to show every aspect of its structure through the fair skin.

He felt Jiwon touch his hand, fingers encircling his own till they were cupped together, his within Jiwon’s.

There was the slight tug, a pull toward his own bed and he moved toward it. He was afraid, scared what this would mean, where it would lead.

He was excited, aroused by what could happen, what Jiwon was going to do. These conflicting emotions twirled around inside him till his heart beat rapidly in his chest.

The naked form leading him to his bed eased down on it, sat looking up at him. He could not see the eyes looking up but he knew without seeing they pleaded with him. ‘Yes, you know’ he thought as he moved closer till he was between Jiwon’s knees.

He felt them pull together touching each of his own legs. For the first time Junhoe reached out, hand shaking nervously, and gently palmed one cheek, felt the soft skin against his palm and fingers.

He pushed back, felt the ear then the long hair comb between his fingers as Jiwon leaned his head to his hand. 

_Junhoe knew there were hookup sites online, had surfed them so often he wondered if anyone could trace those searches back to his computer._

_F_ _or two years he saw the posts, men passing through wanting to hookup at the car stop over on Highway 239 or out at the rest stop on the interstate where it passed through the next county over._

_He saw some posts by some living in the region wanting to meet, just pick a place and they would be there._

_It had all been so tempting, seemed so simple, all he had to do was respond and he could meet another guy. For months he only looked, read the posts one after the next._

_None of them really appealing for there was something off about them, casualness to them he was not interested in._

_Junhoe wanted something more._

_Then the post hit from within in his own community._

_Someone he probably knew._

_Junhoe read the post over and over as if he could gleam who it was that had made the post._

_For three nights he pulled up the website and looked at it. On the fourth he replied._

_It was a Saturday night and Junhoe found himself at the small park over in town, the one with baseball fields, tennis courts and small parking lots scattered around its perimeter._

_Junhoe had been there before, as had most when they were in high school and were out on a weekend night cruising around. The parking lots were places to meet up. But the park closed at ten and most were gone by ten thirty._

_He found himself there at eleven, parked in the last lot out of sight in the darkness provided by the back corner._

_They were to meet at the parking lot by the tennis courts but Junhoe found himself too nervous to be sitting there waiting._

_Junhoe feared who the other person might be, worried it might be a trick, a means of outing him. He eased through the darkness till he was standing behind a tree watching the parking lot. He looked at his watch and saw it was eleven eighteen. He was early and wondered how long he would have to wait._


	5. Kim Jiwon

_A car turned from the main road and eased towards Junhoe._

_When it turned into the parking lot the security lights of the parking lot hit the car body and he saw it was a silver Chevy, an older car that was in good shape, after market wheels and tires setting off its lifted chassis._

_He immediately recognized it._

_It belonged to a guy from his school, someone who had been two years ahead of him._

_It was Kim Jiwon._

_Hot and handsome guy from school, outgoing personality and very cute. Girls and boys had flirted with Jiwon incessantly._

_Even some girls in his own class flirted with Jiwon._

_He could not be here to meet him, ‘no way’ he thought as he hid behind the tree when the headlights moved across._

_Junhoe listened as the car pulled into a parking space and shut off. Glancing around the tree he saw Jiwon get out and move to the rear of his car, lower the tailgate and sit down. Legs dangling down Jiwon sat looking back toward the main road._

_Junhoe could not put Jiwon into this role, someone out to meet another guy secretly in the park._

_He could not make it real as he slowly walked backward in the darkness keeping watch of Jiwon, hoping not to be noticed._

_Four, five steps and he began to speed up, to feel confident in his escape._

_Then he tripped over something on the ground, a tree root or a rough place, sending him falling back on his ass. He sat up quickly seeing Jiwon hop down from the tailgate and move toward him._

_‘No…no…no’ Junhoe thought staggering to his feet and running back toward his car._

_He didn’t see Jiwon stopped him, didn’t see how Jiwon stood shocked in the parking lot at recognizing him as he turned to run. He didn’t see Jiwon smile at this recognition._

The bare knees pressed against his legs and he believed he could feel the heat of Jiwon’s body through his jeans. The very nakedness of him.

Junhoe wanted to look down, to let his eyes roam over the nakedness before him, the broad chest, the flat stomach and the manhood that stood up between Jiwon’s thighs.

He felt those old fears, the reluctance to let go as he kept his eyes looking forward toward the glowing window, the moonlight illuminating the thin curtains from behind. Junhoe felt hands on his waist holding him gently as a warm exhale of breath went through his shirt hitting his stomach.

Closing his eyes, he briefly wondered how Jiwon and he ended up like this, alone in his house. The hands on his waist moved bringing him back into the moment. He felt the fingers pull up his shirt tail, fumble with his belt till it was loose. Each touch, the press of fingers against his body began to arouse him, to push past his fear. Fingers slipped over the waistband as they worked to unfasten the buttons. Their touch so close was arousing for the nearness of those fingers.

Junhoe felt his jeans go slack with every button that those fingers worked loose. He felt the pull on his jeans, first to spread them open then to pull them downward, slowly, gently, slipping them down his thighs as he felt the heat of breath on his boxers then the press of lips against his growing erection.

The press against its thickening shaft, the feel of them moving along its length till they encircled the head. The heat of the touch, the wetness of it, drove his arousal, fueled his need for more and he slipped his hands through Jiwon’s hair and pulled those lips tighter against his cock.

Jiwon sucked against the head of his cock and he pushed with his hips.


	6. No One

_Junhoe dragged himself out of bed late feeling as rough as if he were hungover._

_He stood at the refrigerator for an eternity staring into the brightly lit interior trying to make something inside look appetizing. Nothing looked good and he lacked motivation to cook. He ambled back into his bedroom, feet dragging across the wood floors, till he was staring into his closet trying to process the need to get dressed, to put some costumed on, one that said he was ‘normal’ boy, a some business son’s son, a member of the community._

_A gay boy in a straight boy costume._

_Junhoe dressed slowly and slipped his wallet and keys into his pocket._

_The nearest diner was back in town and he knew it would be late when he arrived, a time when most were at church. He drove on the rural two lanes back toward town literally back tracking the same route he had taken last night when he fled the park._

_The diner was downtown next to empty storefronts and across the street from the old drug store that still clung to life. Inside he found the counter and all the tables along the windows full so he made his way to the far wall. The old plastic laminated table was chipped and marred and he found himself tracing a curved scratch as he waited for the waiter to come over._

_Junhoe didn’t notice anything going on around him, the chatter of other patrons, the movement of waiteres back and forth from the kitchen or the one named Jinhwan calling over to him he would be there in a minute._

_He didn’t hear the door chime with every opening or notice the young boy running around the big table in the middle of the small dining room._

_Junhoe’s mind was a fog, no one thought carried out to any completion, just random images circling in confusion. He couldn’t focus on any one thing. The only constant was his fear and the various ways it was controlling him._

_A shadow fell across his table and he looked up assuming it was the waiter._

_It was Jiwon standing over him._

_For a brief moment he held his breath waiting for some calamitous action by this guy who had lured him out last night and embarrassed him. He swallowed hard and looked away not sure what to say._

_“Can I sit down…or are you waiting on someone?” Jiwon asked._

_“I’m not waiting on anyone” Junhoe uttered in a low voice._

_“What?”_

_“No one is coming…you can…sit down” Junhoe stammered as he motioned toward the opposite chair._

_The waiter came to the table as Jiwon eased down into the chair, smiling at Jiwon, saying hello in that way all the girls and boys did when they saw him._

_Seductive, willing, waiting and Jiwon smiled back, so casual, so relaxed it surprised Junhoe, the way Jiwon leaned back, angled in the chair so he could prop an elbow on the back._

_“Hey Jinhwan, how are you doing?” Jiwon asked._

_“I’m okay. When you going to ask me out?” He replied, so forward it surprised Junhoe as he watched them eye each other._

_“Oh Jinhwan, you know I’m not the guy for you” Jiwon replied smiling mischievously._

_“Fucker” Jinhwan whispered under his breath as he smiled, “What do you two want to eat?”_

_While they waited for their breakfast nothing was said for a long time, Junhoe tried hard not to stare at Jiwon, instead keeping his eyes down looking uncomprehendingly at the patterns of the plastic laminate, the infused patterns, those added by abuse and those by hard use._

_Jiwon looked around the room, nodded or spoke to one person or another he recognized, then played with the straw in his iced tea and watched Junhoe struggle to open the creamer then not make a mess with the sugar as he added each to the dark coffee sitting before him._

_Jinhwan brought their food and disappeared back into the kitchen._

_“This looks good! I’m starving” Jiwon uttered as he picked up his fork._

_“Yeah” Junhoe replied noncommittally not clear if he meant the food looked good or if he was hungry._

_They were half finished when Jiwon leaned forward, closed the distance between and spoke in a whisper. “Junhoe, why did you run away last night?”_

_Junhoe knew there was no way to answer the question, nothing that would make sense._

_He continued eating with his eyes cast down to his plate not looking at Jiwon. Anything other than look at Jiwon._

_The dark almost jet black hair that was thick and wavy, and fell over his forehead just concealing his eyes from time to time. Eyes that appeared as dark, mysterious, suddenly hiding more than before. He glanced up quickly and saw the smile, the rosy completion of each cheek that contrasted with the fair white skin._

_Junhoe looked away quickly._

_“Junhoe…it’s hard enough around here, ya know. We can’t…” Jiwon’s voice trailed off and Junhoe knew the truth of what Jiwon said, and what he didn’t’ say._

_“I was…scared.”_

_He said it, admitted the unvarnished truth about his feelings for the first time in a long time as he slowly looked up into those dark eyes looking back._

_Jiwon stifled a laugh, looked around leaning forward once again._

_“I was too. Junhoe, But you don’t have to run away like that. It’s just me. I accept and understand you”_

_No, he didn’t, not really._

_Jiwon leaned over and ran his hand over the top of his head feeling the soft hair rake over his palm and fingers._

_“Thank you then…” Junhoe uttered, feeling suddenly foolish, twenty four old, living in this rural place and never been with another the way he desired._

_The waiter brought the check and laid it on the table closer to Jiwon._

_Junhoe reached for it but Jiwon snatched it up. “I got this” Jiwon told Junhoe as he reached for his wallet._

_Outside on the sidewalk Junhoe didn’t know what to do, didn’t know if he wanted to flee and isolate himself back at his home or if he wanted the day to continue with Jiwon._

_He stopped on the walk when he saw Jiwon head in the opposite direction from where he was parked._

_“I guess I’ll catch you later” Junhoe uttered._

_Jiwon stopped suddenly aware Junhoe wasn’t right behind him. “What? Why? You have something to do?”_

_“No, but I…”_

_“Oh come on Junhoe, let’s go riding around so we can talk.”_


	7. Talk

_Jiwon drove for hours, down to the river, back up to town and out to the small park. He talked about himself, the attractions he felt for other guys but was afraid to act on during high school, this image of who he was supposed to be so engraved in his mind._

_But after graduation it just didn’t matter anymore, this persona he was supposed to portray. It’d been three weeks since returning from that church camping trip and for the first time he recognized the loneliness he felt, how it affected him._

_He couldn’t do it anymore._

_Junhoe tried to tell of his own inner turmoil, the desires and attractions he felt. The fears of what he could do if given a chance._

_Would it be what the other person wanted? He stammered and sat silent for long periods of time._

_He stared out the window watching the familiar country side pass by as Jiwon drove around._

_It was late when they got back to into downtown, the sun already below the horizon and darkness quickly consuming the sky._

_Jiwon pulled in next to Junhoe’s car wondering if the day was over._

_Would Junhoe want to call it a day, have time to process what had been said. Would he want to call it a night so he could prepare for another week of work?_

_Junhoe knew it was up to him now, knew Jiwon was going to let him go if that was what he wanted._

_But Jiwon didn’t._

_“You want to come over…we can watch a movie or something.”_

_Jiwon smiled at him nodding yes._

_“I’d like that very much.”_

He felt the tug on his boxers, the slow pull downward.

They slipped over his ass and tugged downward on his erection. Junhoe felt them stretch over his cock till it bounced up free. He felt them descend down his legs pushing jeans down the rest of the way. He felt his nakedness, the cool air on his skin. He felt a hand take his cock, grasp it firmly, hold it up giving it a squeeze.

Junhoe felt the blood pulse through his body, the way he couldn’t get enough oxygen as he breathed harder. He felt the wet slickness of a tongue drag over the head of his cock then lips envelop it. It was so hot he pushed forward uncontrollably. He sucked inward for air and held Jiwon’s head by the hair pulling those lips further down his cock sinking inch after inch after inch into the heat, the wetness, that engulfed it.

“Oh fuck” Junhoe whispered as he released Jiwon’s head and let him move on his cock freely.

Jiwon pulled back and pushed forward over and over, working his mouth along the entire length of Junhoe’s cock.

Junhoe grew so erect his cock ached with its hardness.

Jiwon sensed how aroused he had become and pulled off sliding off the bed and down to his knees. Junhoe watched him now, intently, the way Jiwon dropped down and moved upward taking his sac, both nuts into the suctioning mouth then the tug on it.

Pain and pleasure at the same time. His cock bobbed up and down in front of him as it drooled down on Jiwon’s cheek, the clear liquid trickling down to the full mouth tugging on his sac.

He felt Jiwon’s hands fumbling with his shoes and he lifted one foot then the other allowing Jiwon to get them off along with his jeans and boxers.

Junhoe could spread his legs now, open himself up to Jiwon’s ministrations, let those lips release his sac as hands turned him around. A hand pressed against his back and he bent forward. Hands spread his ass cheeks as Jiwon’s heated breath blew between them followed by his tongue. Junhoe cried out as he felt the manipulation, the touch in such a private place. A hand moved around his thigh and took his erection as he felt the tongue work on his opening, rake over it wetly, press against its tightness till he nearly staggered forward. Hands came to his calves and raked lightly upward brushing the light hairs that covered each. They moved upward over his thighs as he felt the tongue drag upward till it was moving up his back. He felt the tongue lick at his skin then lips softly kiss him. Jiwon rose up behind him and he stayed bent over, open to Jiwon’s ministrations. The kiss at the back of his neck came with the feel of Jiwon’s nose raking through his hair.

Junhoe pushed back so he could feel the body behind him. He wanted to feel it, the masculine nature of it pressed against his back and ass.

“I want you, Junhoe” Jiwon whispered in his ear just before Junhoe felt Jiwon’s tongue work the curves of it.

Jiwon bear hugged their bodies together as he pressed in between Junhoe’s ass cheeks, pushed inward against the tightness hidden there.

“Take me, all of of me” Junhoe moaned and pushed back. Jiwon reached between them and held himself at Junhoe’s opening pushing forward with determination.

Junhoe cried out as he felt the breach of his opening, the stretching open of his tightness and the penetration into his body. Inch after inch sank into his hole as Jiwon held their bodies together and eased into him.

Their skin glistened with their arousal, the exertion of their fuck as Jiwon stood up, holding firmly to Junhoe’s hips as he fucked, driving his cock deeply into Junhoe over and over, their bodies smacking together with the intensity of every thrust.

Junhoe felt every thrust, the way Jiwon pushed deeply into him. He felt the fullness of it, the way Jiwon stretched him open till he easily took their fuck.

He closed his eyes and felt himself focused on the sensations Jiwon was giving him as he rocked in rhythm with their fuck.

Jiwon moved up and leaned against his back. An arm came around his neck and pulled their bodies together as a hand moved around his hips and grasped him.

He felt his own wetness as the hand moved along his shaft and rubbed over the head. He bucked with the pleasure of it, pushing back sinking Jiwon into his hole all the way then pushing forward feeling his cock slide slickly through the tight fist manipulating him.

They moved together till the room filled with their fuck, the sound of their exertions and the scent of their bodies. Rivulets of sweat ran down Jiwon’s body.

When Jiwon pulled free Junhoe cried out ‘no’ not wanting him to stop.

Jiwon led him to the bed, turned him around and pushed him on the bed on his back.

Junhoe knew what Jiwon wanted raising his legs till they rested on each shoulder as Jiwon moved over him. He felt the penetration, so easy this time, Jiwon sliding inward all the way. Jiwon undulated over him, hips rising and falling rhythmically, thrusting deeply.

Jiwon moved slowly at first, savored the feel of every inch sliding through the tight ring of his opening. He put his hands on Jiwon’s thighs feeling the movement of their fuck. Jiwon became lost in his arousal, every sensation focused on the feel of his cock as it piston in Junhoe’s hole and his urgency increased.

He thrust harder, faster, till the bed squeaked and rocked beneath them.

Junhoe cried out, pleaded for Jiwon to fuck him harder as he felt the slap of Jiwon’s abdomen against his ass with every deep penetration.

Jiwon leaned down and kissed Junhoe, lips pressed roughly together, an intimacy that surprised Junhoe at first.

Junhoe pushed upward taking Jiwon and kissed back, arms quickly wrapped around Jiwon’s body hugging him tightly.

The heat of their contact became wet, slick and they glided smoothly against each other. Jiwon felt his body on the edge of release, the tightness of muscle and increase in sensitivity as he thrust cock into Junhoe faster and faster. With release Jiwon shoved inward all the way, pushed inward till he pressed Junhoe into the bed as he filled his hole, wad after wad erupting into his depths.

Jiwon began to pull out when Junhoe held to him, clung to him with a desperate pleading look.

‘No’ Junhoe uttered as he pushed upward, worked his body against Jiwon, undulating hips in an effort to stir Jiwon into a renewed state of arousal.

Jiwon felt it, the way Junhoe moved beneath him and he began to work his hips up and back down pumping his still erect cock through the slick remains of his first load. It felt good, the way his cock slipped through Junhoe, milked by the tight opening of Junhoe’s hole.

Junhoe moaned and uttered guttural profanities urging him on. He rose up over Junhoe, hands either side of the prone body beneath him and he began to fuck, hard, pulling nearly out then slamming back in. Looking down between their bodies he saw Junhoe take his own erection, stroke it in rhythm with their fuck, fast, hard, roughly slamming his tight fist down the wet slick shaft.

Jiwon fucked faster, rocked Junhoe roughly on the bed eliciting a grunt with every thrust inward.

“Fuck…fuck…” Junhoe grunted as Jiwon hammered away at his hole, their sweaty bodies slapping together roughly.

Jiwon felt a change in Junhoe, the way he suddenly through his head back and stiffened beneath him. He looked down and watched as cum erupted from Junhoe’s cock, thick wads spattering from chest to stomach. He felt it, Junhoe’s release, in the way it milked his cock, the spasm of Junhoe’s opening happening with every release.

Cum ejaculated from Junhoe’s cock till it covered his torso and ran slimy down his hand still working up and down his cock. Jiwon kept fucking, didn’t slow, kept up the stimulation his cock offered Junhoe’s depths, the thrusting of cock through the tight opening and the feel of a deep penetration.

Junhoe felt the sweat cascade down his body, felt it drip down on Junhoe as he exerted himself to the point of collapse.

He couldn’t think, had no concept of time or place, only the feel of their fuck.

Junhoe’s slick wet hand came to Jiwon’s neck and pulled them together. Lips pressed together, tongues dueling as Jiwon felt the surge of cum race through his cock, the eminent release, pouring himself once again into Junhoe’s depths. He thrust into Junhoe, all the way and held still as his cock erupted.

It felt as if every part of himself was pouring into Junhoe, the very force of life for he suddenly felt his exhaustion, the complete fatigue of every muscle and he collapsed on the bed next to Junhoe. They lay for a long time as their breathing slowly returned to normal and their skin cooled with the evaporation of their sweat.

For Junhoe, there was a moment, ever so brief, he wondered ‘what now?’, afraid this moment with Jiwon was over, that this was some one time fuck and Jiwon was soon be up, dressed and out the door.

He rolled over facing away, afraid to look at Jiwon, even in the dark he was afraid Jiwon could sense his anxiety, his inner demons that made his lack of confidence so discerning.

Junhoe felt the bed shift, movement behind him then the warmth of Jiwon against his body, to forms perfectly spooned together. One arm came over and hugged their bodies together tighter as a warm breath, rhythmic in its pace hit him on the neck.

The fear faded.

“You’re not going to kick me out, are you?” Jiwon whispered.

“No…of course not” Junhoe replied smiling uncontrollably in the darkness.

\---END---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for bearing up with me :)


	8. Bonus Chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just because two people requested it.

After a few minutes, just lying quietly, Jiwon leaned up and looked down on Junhoe and the old smile formed on his face, innocent and he moved to Junhoe kissing him gently.

“Hey Junhoe”

“Uhm?”

“Why… Why are you that afraid?”

"Because I was afraid you'd...reject me and then tell everyone."

"But what if I said I wouldn't have rejected you..."

Jiwon looked at Junhoe and saw him give a weak small smile as he moved over to one of the two chairs he had in the bed room.

Jiwon followed him and sat in the other chair.

Junhoe looked around the room, the few family photos on the wall, the old magazine on motorcycles and a maintenance book for his model sitting on the coffee table, but not much else, nothing really personal, no sense of any other person having been in the room.

"Junhoe?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you seeing anyone?"

Junhoe looked up at Jiwon and his mouth formed a small smile but his face was still sad as he just shook his head no.

"There was a time when I thought I had someone, someone I had hoped they could see me as someone they could love...someone they could share a part of their life with, but one day I left them, because I’m afraid to tell everyone that I am gay" Junhoe said and it made Jiwon realize so much about the way things had been before, up to the moment he fucked it all up and he turned away from Junhoe afraid to look at him.

"But now tell me is it was a fear of being labeled gay made you do it, that you were afraid to go with your feelings and I don't know how..." and Jiwon let his voice trail off their conversation so painful for the two of them after the passing of three years.

Junhoe leaned back and stared up at the ceiling trying to get his jumbled up thoughts aligned, some sensible reply that he could make and he turned towards Jiwon and whispered quietly across the room breaking the silence.

"Jiwon, you applied to the same college as mine before. Was that intentional?"

Jiwon looked at Junhoe and nodded yes.

Jiwon smiled, for the first time, and he pulled out his cell phone and hit a contact number.

"Hey mom, can I bring someone over for dinner tonight?" and he listened to the reply. "It'll be Junhoe." He listened for just a couple of seconds and then said he'd be home soon before ending the phone call.

"You're coming to the house for dinner, okay?"

Junhoe looked at him and smiled. "Okay."

"Look, after dinner we can talk...I mean really talk" and Jiwon stood up and looked down at Junhoe, and started to dressed up.

The way Jiwon’s shirt hung open revealing his torso and Junhoe let his eyes scan down over his body and down his legs looking at the exposed knee through the jeans.

"I should go and.. come on let me - "

Junhoe suddenly stood up and as Jiwon reached for the door he put his hand on Jiwon's shoulder causing him to freeze in place.

"Don't go; not yet."

Jiwon turned and the touch was what he had wanted from the beginning, to feel Junhoe break the barrier he had allowed to come between them.

With his low and raspy voice, Jiwon said “I’m not going to leave you, like everybody else”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep” Junhoe whispered

Jiwon chuckles “It’s not a promise.”

Junhoe raised his right eyebrow “Then what is it, mister?”

“That’s an oath” Jiwon said with a smirk on his lips

Junhoe giggles “Silly”

“Uhumm” Jiwon ran his hand around Junhoe's waist feeling the smooth warmth of his skin as he pulled their bodies together and kissed like there’s no tomorrow.


End file.
